I don't believe he's the one I'm being prepped for.
The one I've somehow always been waiting on.. Maybe he's just a part of the prepping too, but I know there's depths to discover between us that we haven't even begun to touch yet.
I'm a bit worried. Might crush a bit too hard, a bit to fast. Scared he'll slip through my fingers once again. Not really because of the pain, but because it takes both of us to explore whatever this is. I can't access it alone, so if he disappears on me I'm left without knowing, again.
I don't know what it is... This magnetic pull he has on me. Chemistry is so weird man. Especially now when I haven't seen him for a few days and am back to "normal". I really can't see what the fuss is about haha. How does he affect me so much? It's not what he says, nor what he does, or what his thoughts reflects. It's literally only when he's around, and even then it doesn't have to be exciting or extrodinary, it could even be slightly awkward or 'boring'. But there's still always tension.
I usually gets handed lessons through crushes.. just thought I already had mine with him.. I wonder if this is just a trick, or a second chance to something real that we've been denying ourselves. Like if it's actually just desire (but I don't even really want it?). I know he feels it too. I don't know how good he is at fooling himself though. Don't know why this pull between us is back, or if it never actually left. Summer's almost over and I leave in less than a month. I really don't wish for this to turn into a forever-never-finished-type of thing. I pity lovers stuck in that. Damnit, won't you just reveal your purpose already?
Baby don't be shy lets go and fall in love...